My Self

"Save me from the bondage that is thy self." What a true and complete statement.

I am sorry. Sorry for what happened or what i did or what you did.

Sorry in the largest sense of the word. Bigger than you or I. Anything that we are and anything that was loved and lost or emotions that were or were not.

Emotionally vulnerable. Finding yourself and trying to find the person that i am, that i always have been. And having that exposed on the outside of my being and my soul and feeling my weakness in my knees, my hands and my heart. Finding myself and all of my many many layers as a human, a soul, a mother, a friend. ME.



An awakening in your heart of what has been lost and what you never got in the first place. Where you are incapable of being present. Incapable of being....aware. Self indulgence. Self loathing. Self Self Self..... Save me from the bondage that is thy self. Not knowing yourself, running away from yourself your feelings your conscious. consciousness. i breath and am aware and i cry. i wake up and know myself a little better. emotionally vulnerable, not bankrupt.


All of this is about me myself. I am comfortable in my own skin...i am not scared or today or tomorrow. i am aware and present. i am happy for what may or may not be. happy for what is. I was told to me good to myself. i haven't been i have been scared. not present. self loathing. pitiful might be a good word...sounds ordinary and sad. it's a perfect word.....describing me and who i once was. Not being able to give to anyone b/c i was afraid of myself or giving to myself. myself. I am aware of others feelings. I know that hatred and anger are reflections of what is on the inside, what is going on with others, and i cannot control what happens on some elses side of the street. keeping my side of the street clean. i guess the do unto others thing, that sounds hokey. it's true. spiritually and not religiously.


i feel the wind on my skin like it's the fist time an awakening a spiritual enlightenment. peace from within. no more torment or pain or weakness. sorrow. i grieve for who i was that person that tormented soul. that anger that i have still anger within. anger is fear fear is pain pain is relenting and freeing and it aches. how it feels to just to cry to be. just be. and know you are. just what you are for today...not for tomorrow b/c tomorrow is free of plans. virtuous. love. revealing. naked. naked is what i am giving you now. me. scared. happiness. love for who you are and what you brought to my life and what you taught me. This is me.