Ethanol Challenged.

Sometimes I do want to take a drink.  But you know what?  I don't.  Not for any reason other than the bizillion reasons that I have to not drink.  I am not far from where I was last year and one cocktail can singlehandedly put me right where I was this time last year.

Let's take time to reflect for a second just to make sure that I haven't forgotten.  This time last year I was almost ready for rehab.  I was getting kicked out of yet another person's house that let me stay there (because I am family) on the promise that I would get a job that I didn't get because of my drinking.

If you rewind a little bit further I got kicked out of my home and all of my bags were put in my vehicle while I sat there crying.  I was given a little money to go away with, but in the end this is how I got kicked out of my home.  After that I ended up in the psych ward at the hospital in some crazy circumstances that started with my mother and ended with my mother and well...  I don't really need to go into more detail there.

That was just 2 months before I decided to get sober for real this time.

I lost everything in my life.  And I'm not saying that in a pitiful poor me way.  NO REALLY.  I lost everything.  I lost my daugher, my house, my relationship(s), friends and lovers, my clothes, my jobs, my furnishings.

I think people who don't know me don't understand the gravity of them asking me "are you drinking again?"

And I guess that if it were warranted I would deserve it. But, it's not.

I do the very best that I can every day.

I get back a little bit of me everyday.  I get back a little of what I lost everyday.

I have worked to be where I am today.   I deserve to be where I am today.

I love the people that stand by my side and know me.

So....  Thank you.  You know who you are.